I seem to have this serious issue with going to public events. I need to be organized and focused and ready to move around the room and that’s what I do. I can’t go with anyone because that distracts me from my objective. I’m looking for that awesome story that inspires you to get up and vote.
I’m trying to find that human element that’s gonna draw you in and somehow motivate you to let your voice be heard.
Anyways, so I’m just stressing the whole way to this event. I’m the lone democrat in a sea of republicans. That actually isn’t as hard as one would think. Approximately 1/3 of this room either knows me and tolerates me, or knows me and we actually are acquaintances if not outright friends. But still, I am the lone democrat. So when the fire alarm trips, yes I *am* the first person everyone is going to point at. (It wasn’t me and the kitsap republican constituency knows this)
I put myself into what would normally be termed an “uncomfortable position” and what’s worse is that I let my fear gnaw at me the entire way en route to the event. It doesn’t matter who is hosting the party. I just start letting my mind roll with the “worst case scenario” and my tummy hurts and I feel my heart rate elevate and I want to cry. Many times I’ve talked myself right out of something because you know what, I allow my low self esteem and my fear of others step in and take the wheel and drive. It’s not a good thing to do in my case because I am missing golden opportunities to see and meet people. I know. I’m just proud of myself for walking in and seeing everyone. Well, until that fire alarm thing happened. Gah.